5 Things That Can Give Guaranteed Headaches in Nigeria.

Hmmm.

My people, my people...

So we just started a new week and amazingly, we are walking into the month of JUNE!!🥳.

But...come, let us just be honest...

We all know that problem no dey ever finish, abi?

So in as much as this new month brings new possibilities, shey e no carry another sack of wahala join?.

For this Naija, if you are not chasing something, something else is definitely chasing you!.

Yes or YES?🤷‍♀

️

In this write-up, I am totally going to highlight some of those things...

...things that I am sure the average Nigerian faces regularly.

P.S: So, therefore, if you are not ready to laugh, get a little bit mad, and then laugh some more, better waka pass o!🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

---

1. MONDAY PALAVER:

Sighhh

First of all, I just need to ask this...

Why is there a Monday in existence?.

No, but why?

Can't the Universe just...undo its rule or something??.

I mean...

Mondays always come like film trick!

One minute you are sleeping off on your bed on an extremely hot Sunday evening after finishing two rounds of Sunday rice and Pepsi, and then the next, your alarm (or is it your mother?. Don't lie o! Tell us the truth😏) wakes you up by 6am telling you its Monday.

You know, it actually wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the busiest day of the work week. Sometimes, all the hustle and bustle of Mondays opens your eyes up to really seeing how Lagos is the busiest city in West Africa.

Lagos is just too busyyyy!

And Monday mornings are the worst!

Or haven't you noticed that something WRONG always happens on Mondays?Oh...don't worry.

Its not your fault!.

It's just a silent, infinite curse of the Universe.

Something just always happens!

It could be that you end up late at work because of traffic. Sometimes when you even get to work, your body and brain is already fried and tired because of all the shouting in the bus and the Lagos sun. (Oh...I think I forgot to mention another madness that is called Lagos Traffic. Maybe in the next blogpost then👌).

The possibilities of things going wrong on this first day of the work week plenty so teh I no fit write them down.

But I am very sure you definitely know what I am talking about.

So yeah... I'm sorry but not sorry if I wish Tuesday was the actual start of the week, Dear Universe!!😒💔.

---

2. AIRTEL NETWORK:

Dear Airtel Network Provider,

I am writing this letter to YOU😩🙏🏾

Yes..YOU.

You see, Something must kill a man, and I never knew you suddenly decided to join that list in 2022.😭

Please...before I start, don't be angered by my ranting because I don't know where your HQ is or who your Oga patapata is.

Just know that my ranting comes from a highly frustrated part of my cerebrum and I represent more than half of your subscribers🙏🏾

Now that the appeasal has been done and over with...

Please what exactly is going on with you guys' Server???😢😢

No, please tell me because i want to understand...

How on earth will someone be spending over 3k on data every week??. In this economy where 1000naira dey finish like tap water?.😲

And this is not our fault as Airtel users. Because as we all know, there are a lot of things we all do and use on the internet. But even then, the rate at which your subscriptions finish is quite alarming!

It's not fair to us now.

And this whole data exhaustion thing truly started when you changed your subscription rates.

Please if we have to be subscribing something like 1.5gig for 300naira(you guys' special offer) or 6gig for 1,500naira, can all the data stop growing wings and flying away?.

Because how else does it all finish?.

The kind of headache that comes with buying data everyday is out of this worlddd. Infact, if I calculate all the data buy in a year, I fit use am pay my next house rent o.

No be say person fit even change sim card to another network. Federal government don show us shege with NIN!!.

Airtel, shey una don turn another headache for Naija?🤲

Please, we(Airtel Subscribers) need your help in rectifying this🤲

Abeggg abeggg abeggg!🙏🏾.

Help a babygurl out now

Na just sub I dey sub. No be me kill Jesus!🙏🏾😭.

---

3. NEPA WAHALA:

NEPA has done us all strong things.

If they haven't, please raise your hands so that we can know you are a UARian and not a Nigerian🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️(if you don't gerrit,my dia...forgerabourrit).

Infact, just to show you the extent of their "goodness", some of us still call them "NEPA" even when they have been cut down into different private companies.

But, my dears, that's what happens when at least, twice every month, your area doesn't get light for like 2 weeks. That's what happens when your face-me-i -slap-you building gets Light bill of 30 taaaaaasand naira.

That your small house o!

So tell me how your brain will be productive enough?.

When you get home after a long day at work or at school and still have to cook in that oven of a kitchen and sleep in that frying pan of a room?

How then, will your brain be productive enough to remember that it is PHCN and no more NEPA??

You see say wahala no dey ever finish??🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀

️

---

4. INFLATION SHAAAA:

If I no put inflation for this list, wetin I gain?(in Victor A.D's voice).

I don't need to sing to the heavens for you guys to know that prices of things in the market have gone from H to Z.

I have never seen a government like ours, to be honest.

People keep suffering everyday and yet they do NOTHING. Its like as if they are willingly waiting for this country's end.

I mean, why else would someone in power be siphoning billions of naira and another person claims that a monkey ate it??

Wetin Musa no go see for gate?

And yet here we are everyday, struggling to survive and eating hand-to-mouth.

Egg is now 80naira

Indomitable is now 100naira- transport fare from Mushin to Ojuelegba

Rice is now 27k- my school fees

Oh...and just in case you haven't bought it this month yet...

Gas is now 10k

---

5. GAS, OF COURSE:

Has your salary finished yet?.

No?

Okay. Just wait. You haven't bought gas and rice yet.

Gas is just as bad as Mondays...

It creeps in when you least want it.

Especially after you don finish spending that 25k wey you just receive at the end of the month...

Wait first.

Make we calculate am.

MONTHLY BUDGET:

Transport: 5k

Data: 5k

Food:10k

Saving: 5k

Where you go come get money for gas?.

My dear, I feel your pain. I really do.

I also know what you must be thinking:

This country...is a JOKE.

But guess what?

las las, we go dey alright.

Just hang on tight, keep doing what you are doing and just find your own happiness.

You see that money? We go make am. Naija fit beat us down but, yet...

We STILL no dey carry last.

****

Much Love

from Yours Truly✌️❤️

X.O.X.O

Girlnextdoor💋